Things are well on the way with the IVF now, after 22 injections my tummy is starting to feel a like a pin cushion but knowing what the outcome could be makes it all worth the pain.
When we first found out that IVF was the only way that we'd have children I had so many questions for God, the main one being 'why us?' I suppose the question that followed was 'why not us?' I have been a christian all my life but that doesn't make me immune to illnesses, or bad things happening, it doesn't mean I get things my own way or any special treatment.
When we first talked about IVF I was worried that perhaps me not having a baby is God's plan for my life and I worried that IVF was 'playing God' as it wasn't how God intended babies to be conceived, but God created us in his image, he gave us brains, he gave us special gifts. He created humans in such a way that we will learn ways to cure and heal. God uses people on earth as vessels for his work, and not just the preachers, he can use anybody and I truely believe He uses Doctors and was there when the doctors and scientists dicovered how to make fertility possible for those that can't conceive.
Last Wednesday I had a bad day, for some reason I couldn't get the needle into my tummy, my stomach was just so firm, I had 10 attempts to get the needle in and started to get myself so worked up into a right state. Luckily I have a doctor friend on hand so I jumped in my car clutching my needle and went to ask for help. My friend took the needle from me and quickly stabbed it into my tummy, I didn't feel a thing and I felt so silly for getting myself so worked up.
The next evening I had to start my Menopur injections so this meant 2 injections a night, due to the trouble I had the evening before I prayed that God would make me brave and that I would be able to do it, the needles went straight in and didn't even hurt. God answered my prayer, to me that was only a small prayer, but God hears every prayer, and each prayer is as equally important.
I have been quite lucky with the treatment so far and apart from feeling tired and a few stomach cramps I haven't really suffered with any side effects, I know things are going to get much harder, but I have Faith that God will be with me every step of the way.
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