Monday 20 February 2012
Its been a while since I've blogged but I've been a little busy over the few last months....
On 6th December at 9.39pm my whole world changed, all my dreams came true and many prayers were answered with the safe arrival of my gorgeous little baby boy.
I can't describe anything more amazing than giving birth, its like a little miracle. I just found the whole experience totally awesome, yes there was a lot of pain but its true what they say, once that little bundle of joy is in your arms you forget about all that.
Charlie Thomas Pugh was 7lbs 2 oz when he was born, he had lots of dark brown hair and the most beautiful big blue eyes, I fell in love instantly and now I can't imagine my life without him, its like he's always been with me.
Now, nearly 3 months on, he is 11lbs 9oz, he is sleeping through the night, he's smiling and he's creating his own little personality.
I love him so much, thank you Jesus for answered prayers
On 6th December at 9.39pm my whole world changed, all my dreams came true and many prayers were answered with the safe arrival of my gorgeous little baby boy.
I can't describe anything more amazing than giving birth, its like a little miracle. I just found the whole experience totally awesome, yes there was a lot of pain but its true what they say, once that little bundle of joy is in your arms you forget about all that.
Charlie Thomas Pugh was 7lbs 2 oz when he was born, he had lots of dark brown hair and the most beautiful big blue eyes, I fell in love instantly and now I can't imagine my life without him, its like he's always been with me.
Now, nearly 3 months on, he is 11lbs 9oz, he is sleeping through the night, he's smiling and he's creating his own little personality.
I love him so much, thank you Jesus for answered prayers
Friday 28 October 2011
Monday 10 October 2011
baby Noah
2 months to go until the arrival of my little bundle of joy 'squeak' arrives. I'm getting excited and pretty scared now.
A couple of weeks ago my sister gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, Noah James. He's tiny but gorgeous. Lyndsay and Chris did an amazing job of delivering him, on their own (with help from a person on the other end of the phone) on the living room floor. I'm so proud of them, but I don't want anything as dramatic as that when I give birth, in a hospital bed with midwives and doctors will do me just fine :)
My nursery is coming along now, the blue paint is on the wall and the green grass will go on tonight, I can't wait to have it finished.
Squeak is keeping me up at night, wiggling around and hiccupping lots, I've even been experiencing some braxton hicks, but I'm happy because I know its preparing me for the sleepless nights to come.
I still sometimes have to pinch myself to believe that I actually have this little miracle growing inside of me and in a couple of months it will be in my arms.
Sunday 28 August 2011
disheartened
Today I am feeling very disheartened and I really hate feeling like this because I have a little miracle growing inside of me. But sometimes no matter how happy you are someone can still manage to bring you down.
I love my church and my church family but recently I've been made to feel unimportant and that the work that I do is taken for granted and unappreciated.
I am a person of very little words and very rarely speak out, my confidence isn't great when it comes to talking. But a few weeks ago I stood up for what I believed to be right and it caused a week of upset and grief, the things I said were taken the wrong way and whenever I tried to explain myself it was blown out of proportion and made things worse, In the end I apologised knowing that I was backing down on what I thought to be right because I knew that person was much stronger than me and had more of an influence over the church and the corps officer. It didn't matter how I felt and my feelings weren't really taken into consideration. It made me feel insinificant and I felt that from now on I should stay silent.
A big aspect of the corps that I love is the worship group, it always seemed to boost my faith and helped me to feel closer to God but recently I've felt that it has lost something, so I deceided to do something about it and try to get everyone together to talk about things, but that didn't work, although people were interested to start with they all started cancelling at the last minute, another sign that I shouldn't speak out.
I was told once that I had the gift of disernment - The gift of discernment is the special ability that God gives to certain members of the body of Christ to distinguish between truth and error, and to know with assurance whether certain behavior purported to be of God is in reality divine, human, or satanic. I use to experience a strange feeling when we had all the upset in our corps a few years ago, my heart would beat fast, I would feel breathless and dizzy... I'm am not saying that I am experiencing the same feelings now but I do feel that something isn't quite right in our church at the moment, maybe the devil is trying to get back in but at the moment I don't feel like I can say anything as I don't feel like I have the support or even the love of certain people. Over the last year we have taken on leadership teams so that everyone feels that they have a say in how the church is run... I'm not sure this is true, if so why do I feel so insignificant and disheartened at the moment.
I love my church and my church family but recently I've been made to feel unimportant and that the work that I do is taken for granted and unappreciated.
I am a person of very little words and very rarely speak out, my confidence isn't great when it comes to talking. But a few weeks ago I stood up for what I believed to be right and it caused a week of upset and grief, the things I said were taken the wrong way and whenever I tried to explain myself it was blown out of proportion and made things worse, In the end I apologised knowing that I was backing down on what I thought to be right because I knew that person was much stronger than me and had more of an influence over the church and the corps officer. It didn't matter how I felt and my feelings weren't really taken into consideration. It made me feel insinificant and I felt that from now on I should stay silent.
A big aspect of the corps that I love is the worship group, it always seemed to boost my faith and helped me to feel closer to God but recently I've felt that it has lost something, so I deceided to do something about it and try to get everyone together to talk about things, but that didn't work, although people were interested to start with they all started cancelling at the last minute, another sign that I shouldn't speak out.
I was told once that I had the gift of disernment - The gift of discernment is the special ability that God gives to certain members of the body of Christ to distinguish between truth and error, and to know with assurance whether certain behavior purported to be of God is in reality divine, human, or satanic. I use to experience a strange feeling when we had all the upset in our corps a few years ago, my heart would beat fast, I would feel breathless and dizzy... I'm am not saying that I am experiencing the same feelings now but I do feel that something isn't quite right in our church at the moment, maybe the devil is trying to get back in but at the moment I don't feel like I can say anything as I don't feel like I have the support or even the love of certain people. Over the last year we have taken on leadership teams so that everyone feels that they have a say in how the church is run... I'm not sure this is true, if so why do I feel so insignificant and disheartened at the moment.
Tuesday 23 August 2011
Sunshine
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,
You make me happppppy when skies are grey,
You'll never know Squeak, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away!
Thursday 11 August 2011
Wriggly Squeak
Wow, I can't explain how amazing it feels to be pregnant. I love it :) I love experiencing new feelings inside my tummy.
Yesterday was a bad day, I hadn't felt squeak move for a couple of days and I was really beginning to worry something was wrong, Mike even phoned NHS direct to find out if this was normal. They asked me to call my midwife and said that I'd probably have to go to the hospital to get checked out. That really scared me so I decided I'd try a few things first, people adviced me to have a really cold drink, something to eat, have a bit of a jump around and then lay down on my left hand side and hopefully I will feel squeak move. So I gave it ago (good excuse to have some ice-cream) An hour later, still nothing so Mike said he would call the Midwife. But I told him to come and hold my tummy for a bit, as soon as he did we both felt a little kick from squeak letting us know everything was OK... RELIEF!
Then this morning I sat looking at my tummy and i actually saw squeak move, it was so weird but some beautiful too... that's my squeak in there reassuring mummy that everyting is ok!
Can't wait to see the midwife on Wednesday, hopefully she will let me hear Squeaks heartbeat.
I love squeak so much... my little mirracle! :) xx
Yesterday was a bad day, I hadn't felt squeak move for a couple of days and I was really beginning to worry something was wrong, Mike even phoned NHS direct to find out if this was normal. They asked me to call my midwife and said that I'd probably have to go to the hospital to get checked out. That really scared me so I decided I'd try a few things first, people adviced me to have a really cold drink, something to eat, have a bit of a jump around and then lay down on my left hand side and hopefully I will feel squeak move. So I gave it ago (good excuse to have some ice-cream) An hour later, still nothing so Mike said he would call the Midwife. But I told him to come and hold my tummy for a bit, as soon as he did we both felt a little kick from squeak letting us know everything was OK... RELIEF!
Then this morning I sat looking at my tummy and i actually saw squeak move, it was so weird but some beautiful too... that's my squeak in there reassuring mummy that everyting is ok!
Can't wait to see the midwife on Wednesday, hopefully she will let me hear Squeaks heartbeat.
I love squeak so much... my little mirracle! :) xx
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