Never Forget

I was the new girl, started Big Wood School in the last term of my 2nd year, I walked into my new tutor group and the 1st person that welcomed me was Julie, She was sat at the back with 2 other girls, Monica & Sarah, She had the biggest smile I had ever seen & thick wavey long brown hair. Julie was quite quiet then, not one of the most popular girls, which was cool by me because neither was I, so already we had something in common. She was always hard working, got her homework in on time & very organised. Neither of us were very good at sports, we always seemed to be last to be picked. In the 4th year we became a lot closer due to picking a lot of the same subjects & it was music class where she seemed to be in her element, I played the cornet & she played the flute, we both joined the orchestra of which Julie won the big shield for.
We had a big crush on our english teacher Mr Weatheridge & sometimes stayed back a bit after class so that we could ask him homework related questions (that we probably already knew the answers to)

Once we had done our GCSE's we opted for High Pavement College together where we did Music A level. College was where the real Julie shone through, she developed a really good sense of humour & had us all in stitches most of the time with her dirty mind. When birthdays & Christmas came around I always knew not to open my gifts in front of my parents as there was bound to be a rude gift from Julie!

We spent most of our time at college in the music room common room where we made some really good friends including Rachel & met our first proper boyfriends. We had so much fun, and I have so many good memories from that time. I think Dr Sibley had a special soft spot for Julie and he loved it when we joined the choir. I never finished my A levels but Julie worked really hard and got the grades so that she could go off to uni. I remember that being a hard time for me because all my friends moved away from Nottingham. But I didn't have to worry because the friendship me, Julie & Rachel had was made to last.

I can't really tell you about Julie's uni years as I don't know much about them, but I know when she came home in the holidays she had a new love of partying, so we'd often get the old college gang together and go out on the town, where I'd observed them all getting slightly tipsy while I sipped my diet coke. Julie came back to Nottingham after university, She met Iaine and bought a house... a perfect place for Julies legendary New Years Eve Parties. But with Iaine coming from Somerset they finally decided to move down there so we had to say goodbye again. We kept in touch on the phone and She was one of the first people I told when I met Mike.

I was at work when I got the phonecall from Julie telling me she had cancer, I couldn't believe it, I remember her asking me to pray for her to get better and her telling me that she was going to fight.

We had tickets booked for Take That in Birmingham & that was the first time I had seen Julie since she told me she was ill, she was losing her hair but other than that she looked really well. We had really good seats & Julie even managed to touch the boys as they walked past her, we had a really fantastic time!

In the last 3 years we all had weddings so we spent a lot of time comparing notes, having Hen do's and enjoying 3 great weddings, we spent a fantastic New Year at Rachels & our last trip to London was one I will never forget.

But one of my favourite times was when Julie came down to Nottingham and me and her went out for an Indian, it was the first time in a very long time that we had gone out just the two of us and it was so nice to have that time to talk. We reminisced about the old times but mostly we talked about God and our faith. God spoke to Julie in so many amazing ways, she told me how she was given the gift of healing and also experienced a vision. I questioned my faith of 34 years because nothing like that had ever happened to me but I realised Julies faith was so strong & that God was using her in a very special way. Since then my faith has grown stronger and I believe so much in the power of prayer, I know that Julie has got her reward and she is in heaven with all the other angels.

I often thought that I wasn't good enough for Julie, she was so outgoing & confident with a great personality & a crazy sense of humour & I was quiet and boring, a good christian girl that went to church but I realised that Julie didn't want everone to be exactly like her, she needed me to be that friend that she could spend special times with, someone who she could talk to and in the end it was God that brought us even closer together, She loved me for who I was!

I have so many more happy memories of Julie & I will never forget!

Think Pink!

So what happens now?

It's a week and a half until the funeral and it feels a bit like I'm in limbo. I'm not sure how I should be feeling, the sun is shining and its a beautiful day but I feel guilty for laughing... but then again I know how Julie would want me to feel, she always kept us smiling through the tough times so she wouldn't want me to be sad. I just wish there was something that I could do, something worthwhile instead of just sitting here and waiting.

Someone posted this on Julies Facebook page which basiclly answers the question what do I do now?:

Don't grieve for her, for now she's free
Following the path God laid for Julie
She took his hand when she heard his call
She turned her back & left it all
She could not stay another day
to laugh, to love, to work, to play
Tasks left undone must stay that way
She found the peace God sent that day.
If her parting has left a void
then fill it with remembered joy
a friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
these things we all will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow
she is the sunshine of tomorrow.
Her life's been full, she savoured so much
good friends, good times, a loved ones touch.
Perhaps her time seems all too brief
don't lengthen it now with undue grief
Lift up your heart and smile with Julie
God wanted her now, He set her free.

Julie inspired so many people in so many different ways, and for me I know she would want me and Rachel to support each other and to carry on with our plan of getting together every month, it will obviously be hard without Julie, but life is for living and I am going to make the most of every minute and cherish the times I spend with my friends & loved ones. I also want to do what I can to help support the Cancer charities that Julie supported. Me and Rachel suprised Julie last month & told her that we would be running the race for life with her, she was so happy, now we will be doing it for her, but I know that she will still be there with us on that day cheering us on!

Julie has requested that instead of flowers for the funeral she would like people to donate to cancer charities and also instead of everyone being sad and wearing black, that everyone should wear pink, I can just imagine her smiling at all the men in pink. She was amazing and we should celebrate her life.

Now... what to wear.... pink, pink, pink !! :D

Hard to say goodbye

Where do I start?

This whole blogging is new to me, but I've been encouraged by a good friend who says that blogging really helps so its worth a try!

Today I lost my best friend in the world, Julie, to cancer & at the moment I feel numb.

3 years ago I got a phone call from Julie telling me she had cancer & I think they had given her 6 months. She told me she was going to fight it, and boy did she! For 3 years she was so strong, never giving up, lived her life to the full, raising money for charity, travelling around the world and being an inspiration to anyone that had the pleasure of meeting her. She was always putting other people 1st before herself.

A month ago me, Julie and my friend Rachel organised a trip into London to have a meal and to see the show Hairspray, we had an amazing time and promised each other that we would do something like that every month, We never would have imagined that would have been our last day out.

Last Saturday we went down to Somerset to say goodbye. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I knew she was ill and I knew that one day she wouldn't be here anymore but it still came as a massive shock, Its something that you can never prepare yourself for! The time we spent with Julie on Saturday was precious, to hear Julie tell me that she loved me and that I was her best friend is something I will never forget, and I was so thankful to have that time with her to tell her I loved her, how proud I was of her for being so strong and that she was a true inspiration to me.

Julie found God, and her stories & God experiences were amazing and really helped me, a christian of 34 years, in my faith. She told me on Saturday that she wasn't scared and that she knew that Jesus was waiting for her. Such amazing faith! She knew that would comfort me ... still thinking about other people even then.

It still doesn't seem real that she's gone, she was only 35. But I know she is at peace and in heaven.

I love you Julie. I am so happy that you were in my life. I will miss you always X

So say goodbye 'cause you'll be leaving soon
I know it's hard, and I'll be missing you
I know its time to say goodbye

I know the road, has worn you down
You never broke, you always held your ground
But now its time to say goodbye

And I know we'll meet again, but I wish It'd never end
You don't mean to make me cry
But it's so hard to say goodbye

Say goodbye
Say goodbye

And though you're gone I remember now
The time we shared, you're words still ring out
You're never far, you're in my heart

And I know we'll meet again, but I wish It'd never end
You don't mean to make me cry
But it's so hard to say goodbye

Ohhh, Ohhh
Say goodbye
Say goodbye

And I know we'll meet again, but I wish It'd never end
You don't mean to make me cry
But it's so hard to say goodbye

Someday we'll meet again 'cause thats how the story ends
Its so hard to say goodbye
Say goodbye